Seen and Unseen – 2 All Hesitation

“You know what our world needs: more love, less contempt.” ~ Arthur C. Brooks, Harvard Professor

2 All Hesitation

A tiny woman with impolite hair and overly worn-out clothing slides into Bloom’n’s awareness.

Rainne. Bloom’n’s new-found friend. Seemingly, a collector of many things…a factoid Bloom’n surmised immediately after they first met, when Bloom’n first approached Rainne in her worn-out beat-up SUV, nearly smothered by the entirety of her life as it sat piled high upon the petite woman as if in an avalanche, chaotically strewn in every corner of her SUV, from the floor to the ceiling, front to back from inside her vehicle, a vehicle that sits motionless in the furthest reaches of a parking lot near the train station located in Bloom’n’s neighborhood. For the first time, a realization dawns on Bloom’n about this completely down and out woman who has rapidly proven herself to be highly intelligent and cogent soul. Rainne had been an educator, a teacher of ethics in technology, focused primarily on the intention behind the technology and the uses for it. Bloom’n can’t imagine a more unusual mindset or skill set or perspective to carry in this day and age of build it fast and furious until it breaks and then ask questions later type of corporate culture. But be that as it may, Bloom’n now recognizes Rainne even more deeply than she thought she already had. Surely, Rainne’s most prized collection, the one she most likely has always valued above all others — even before her life was turned upside down and especially afterward, albeit painfully, cautiously so — must be her collection of persons. Her collection of students. Friends. Colleagues. Like-minded souls. Those who she believes she can truly trust. Those who she feels genuinely privileged to truly care about.

As far from an easy discernment to make as you can get especially after your life has been abruptly upended. And yet…

Life’s gifts disappear without genuine trust and connection, without the gift of truly being seen and truly seeing. Without knowing and valuing ourselves and others, life devolves into a lonely journey, an aimless wandering through a wasteland of loss. Lost relationships. Lost knowings. Lost expressions. Lost fullness of being. Lost love.

“Dear,” Rainne says softly. Her fingertips lightly feather the back of Bloom’n’s elbow as if to soothe. “My dear, now, I think we’ve stared long enough. And bravo to you for the intensity, I have to say. Bravo…”

Bloom’n huffs out a small laugh, surprising even herself.

“Quite impressive, really. But also quite long enough. Surely you can see this is true, yes?”

A second voice, much younger but somehow just as wise, joins Rainne’s.

“Your friend here — ” the young guy with the curly hair and rimless wire glasses begins to say before Rainne’s smile interrupts and she says to him, “And your friend as well.” She nods her head toward the young man.

He returns her gentle acknowledgement, his face brightening, then begins anew, “Our friend here — (Rainne’s smile broadens sweetly) — Our friend here is right, Bloom’n. Let’s invite him (the young man nods across the expanse of the library toward Zach) into the Human Connections area. Let’s use the space for what it’s made for: conversation. Connection. For us to talk with each other. Or…or if you’d really rather not, then let’s not. But either way let’s end the stand-off…or whatever you want to call this. Besides…we’ve got a few people waiting for us over there.”

The top mop of his curls bounce as the crown of his head indicates the area a few feet behind where Bloom’n, Rainne, and the young man currently stand. Bloom’n knows the area well. Along with the beauty of its purpose and her very first conversation there that she experienced a few days ago with the wonderful and delightful near centenarian Flo, Bloom’n couldn’t help but also notice the signage. “Human Connections.” Clear. Direct. Unmuddied. The one place in the M.C.E. Library — and the surrounding area inside and out truth be told — blessedly lacking Giant Eye branding. The Connection area. Where Humans meet and learn about each other. Where the best resolution to a watchful eye is an open ear and an open heart.

“They,” he continues.

What is his name?

“The group waiting for us…they don’t really understand what’s going on over here. And I have to admit, I’m not entirely sure myself. But I can say with confidence that we’re all — all of us — open to finding out and doing whatever we can to help set things right.”

I really need to learn his name.

An echo.

“The only thing we really truly own is our name,” Stryder says, then adds as he wraps her up in his soul with his glance, “And our hearts.”

For the first time, Bloom’n’s feet shift even ever so slightly. Her head moves. (She senses Zach’s surprise.) She glances behind. She knows the area. She knows most if not all of the individuals in the group gathered there. Mostly recently met individuals. A few new faces. All of the same perspective: openness to others. She bites back doubt. Remembers Stryder’s urgings to get back up. And decides it’s time to face things head on, only this time with some support from others instead of only by herself.

Some support. Because how could anyone else understand. Or know the depths. The highs and the lows. The magic in our soul connection and the magic even in the routine of life, made so because of Stryder. Because I’ve been blessed enough to share in life’s gift with my Stryder.

Her armor cracks. She nods visibly to Rainne and the young guy with the curly hair and the rimless wire glasses.

“Okay,” she says softly. “Okay,” she repeats. Rainne gestures across the library, asks, “And him? What about your friend over there?”

Bloom’n frowns, shakes her head. “No. No friend. No.”

“No?” Rainne presses gently, pauses to evaluate her friend’s energy, waits a beat, then says, “Not even worth a try? Just one last try?”

Bloom’n barely exhales. She closes her eyes. She arrives at some kind of choice. She nods her head while whispering, “Okay. Okay. One last try.” She begins to turn toward Zach, then turns quickly back and whispers to Rainne, “But he’s no friend. Trust me. Not anymore.”

“Understood, understood. I trust you, Bloom’n, that I do. Now, trust me in return. Trust me. Let’s get through this. Go tell your former friend to join us and if he chooses to, let’s see if we get to the bottom of things. Okay?”

“Okay…” Indeed, Bloom’n says silently. Let’s see if we can get to the bottom of all these many things over all these many years, when you, Zach, were best friends with my Stryder. Then, all of a sudden out of nowhere so very much happened. So very very much. So much so that I’m left wondering: what would cause Stryder to try to warn me about you, even as he laid on his deathbed. What could possibly create such a sense of urgency in Stryder as he lay dying. To want to protect me to make me understand, even as cancer fully claimed him from my arms and took him, my heart and soul, the very love of my life away from this realm.

She turns to face Zach again. No small amount of concern or fear or awe crosses over his face. But even in spite of what looks to be some level of inner turmoil, he remains where he stands. Waiting for her to arrive. Suddenly her feet move and her legs move and her body moves across the library floor as if she’s out of her own body. Her mind is all over the place, nearly inside out and upside down of her mind’s natural state. Bloom’n could swear she floats across the floor but her stride feels awkward and tense, yet with enough power to move her in a direction she really doesn’t want to go but knows she needs to head in. She fights to focus her energy on maintaining a calmness in her being and her breathing. It’s not going terribly well, but she hopes against hope that she is at least faking it somewhat well.

“Bloom’n” Zach says when she reaches him.

“Please,” she interrupts. “Please don’t say anything. Let me get through this. It’s hard enough as it is.” She inhales, attempts to straighten her shoulders back. She looks her once long time friend and her husband’s once even longer time friend in the eyes.

“There are some very reasonable people behind me. Where I was standing.”

“Near the…what is it the Human Connections desk?”

“Yeah. Good area with good people. I mean, really good people. All of them.”

“Okay…” he asks more than says.

“Yeah, so these really good people think it might be a good idea for you to join us.”

Zach points a finger at his chest, hooking it almost in the shape of a question mark.

“Yeah, I know,” Bloom’n agrees. “Weird. As in, very. Extremely.”

“Well maybe not that –“

“Yes. Well, yes it really is weird. But that’s not the point. The point is these really good people who are thinking far more openly, far more clearly than I am at the moment think it would be a good idea for you to join us. And for us to have a conversation together. Sort things out. All of us.”

“What. Like an intervention?”

“In terms of having an audience of facilitators around us? Yes. Like an intervention. For the two of us. To sort through whatever the hell happened between you and Stryder before he died. So. Zach. There’s the olive branch. That’s the extent of it. I don’t promise anything pretty or anything necessarily enjoyable. So, take it or leave it. Clarity would be nice but I’m not about to beg for that. Anyway…”

They stare at each other. She wants to hate him but she doesn’t know enough yet to know if he deserves it, no matter how much she suspects that he does and she really doesn’t like throwing energy away like that.

“So. There. Okay. I’m going back to them. You know where I’ll be, you’ll know where to find us if you decide to take me up on this.”

NaNoWriMo2026 word count 1,712 words in this entry bringing the grand total to 3,323 words (not including any of this notation, the chapter title or the quote by Arthur Clark.)