Everything

 

Here

 

You

Look. See.

The sky was blue. The breeze, a gentle kiss from the sun.

It was four days after George Floyd perished, a black man handcuffed for reasons still unknown and without any display of resistance. His life squeezed out into the pavement under the knee and the full weight of a scrawny bullshit of a white man who bullied his way through life with a badge and a uniform, posing as a police officer but exhibiting absolutely none of the commitment to serve and protect.

This week has been hard. From the 100,000+ dead within three months on the Memorial Day holiday and from the coronavirus that has torn through the globe and the United States in particular – because the delusion here is that this country is “so great” nothing can harm it. The delusion here has consumed any sense of reason and humility in the face of nature, let alone God or any other being of a higher order than the fucked up human race on Planet Stupid.

And then the horror of what happened to George Floyd.

I spent the Memorial Day weekend and the fire of the ensuing week bent over in a split second, hobbled by grief. I thought I was only taking a visual stroll through the refrigerator in hunt of a bottled water, but no. My knees gave way. I hung on for life to that refrigerator door and in a split second found a crack in the universe between the vegetable crisper and the door, and there, held onto my stomach and sobbed.

By Friday I managed a walk. Along the path of what had been a forest preserve but what had since, over the years, become a exurban expanse of oversized houses with oversized yards and oversized trees and an oversized sun baring the oversized insanity of our world to bare – on that path and on that walk, I crossed strides with a middle-aged man of color. My heart shook inside as we approached each other. I swear his gaze at me wondered “will she call the cops?” And I know my gaze at him screamed to find a way to say “I am so sorry. I am so very very sorry for how this country is. I am so very very sorry for how this world is. I don’t know the full extent of your pain. I do know I feel this pain. And I do know that being white and feeling pain isn’t enough. And I don’t know how to say any of this to you even though my heart screams to.”

And we approached. And I know he wondered what to do. He kept his gaze down. And my heart broke. And I walked on the grass, to be socially distant because of a global pandemic ripping through the fragility of all that is truly each and every one of our lives. How painfully ironic. How heartbreakingly cruel. To be socially distant just four days after the awful awful awful murder of George Floyd at the knee of a white ass coward.

All I could do was try to explain.

“Good morning,” I said in as friendly a way as I could when what I really wanted to do was run up to this stranger and hug him and sob.

His voice was strong and open. And I was amazed. His voice welcomed the possibility of friendliness. I mean. That *friendliness* could be such a miracle…

Friendliness could be such an act of divinity and grace…

I nearly stumbled in the grass, crushed by how very far all of us in the human race have fallen.

“Good morning,” his warm voice, welcoming of kindness, replied.

Tears layered on themselves in my throat. I shook my head, held my arms open wide, felt my heart breaking. All I could say was, “I hope you are well. Global pandemic and all the craziness in the world, and all.”

He laughed warmly and seemed to hold me up with his attitude when it should have been the other way around. And he said, “yeah.” As if to say, “I hear you.”

Oh my word. I hope I see him again. I will ask him for a moment. I will tell him directly how sorry I am that the world has been so awful and is so awful. I will tell him directly that the many of us who are so revolted by what has happened are standing with him. And will stand with him.

We must make a change.

We must be better than this.

 

 

 

 

 

The Way of the Sun

Fantasy Faire 2019 slurls and urls

No words. All heart. For David. The Sun, the Moon, the Stars. Forever and ever.

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Days without names

Fantasy Faire 2020 slurls and urls

A Look from the Fairelands (details and slurls after the pictures)

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Fantasy Faire isn’t complete unless I’m a non-human at some point. This Caboodle fawn with horns (not a RFL item) is so sweet and the SKS Designs texture (a RFL item) magical and charming. The fawn AO has incredibly endearing movements…head shakes, stretches, and even dances and a sit pose. I wear this sweet creature with human wings (which I re-positioned) and the ever-present floral crown (which I resized smaller) that I can’t seem to go without. Each year, there are items I can’t go without. Just like the Fantasy Faire itself. Ever present. Ever a part of me. Ever needed. Ever right and true. And so now, just two days remain. The amount raised, you ask…just out of curiosity and I don’t blame you, I was curious as well. The highest yet. Nearly $70,000 USD. (Tears fell silently down my cheeks when I read this on the Fantasy Faire website.) This, during a global pandemic in the Outworld. This, when no one really hawked their wares. No carnival barkers here, at least not to my ears. Just pure heart. Pure magic. Pure Fellowship. Pure love.

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Fashion Details – RFL items are listed unless otherwise noted (RFL vendor proceeds go to the fight to eradicate cancer). 

Fantasy Faire Shopping Catalogue

  • Avatar (not a RFL item): Fawn from Caboodle in Auxentios’ Pass
  • Fawn skin applier: Blue Mane for Kirin/Unicorn from SKS Designs (I’m not sure which region yet, but I will post it when I find it!)
  • Crown (not a RFL item):  small flower’s crown (white) from NAMINOKE in Auxentios Pass
  • Photo Location: Elemaria build by Bee Dumpling & Solas Enchantment and sponsored by Silvan Moon Designs

Stalking Order in Expanding Universe

Fantasy Faire 2020 slurls and urls

A Look at Fairelands 

“Order” and “Expanding Universe,” both skins from Fallen Gods in Zodiac (build by Alia Baroque and sponsored by Fallen Gods), are lovely, mesmerizing ones. For me, made even more compelling when worn with the crushed opals from the Expanding Universe skin. (A belated note: I’m not sure if “Order” is still available as it might be a limited skin that was offered only during a special jail and bail event.)

I’ve been stalking the true nature of “Order” and “Expanding Universe” ever since I got them. They seem to call through the ages with tales far and wide and surprising even, and yet silently compel the immediate telling of a single frame story.  And so I’ve found myself stalking a look to photograph. But where? Anywhere, true, but there is a warm/cool feeling to these pieces that’s jumped out at me. They are lovely, radiant skins, near yet far, carrying secrets and mysteries before time and with a smile and a wink – and maybe even wide-eyed scan – carrying those secrets and new ones well beyond time itself. Yet glance along the skins and you soon discover sources of life…life in the heavens, life in the stars, Life on Mars…and hints in abundance of life stripes of all manner and variety. And so a particular near-far mood of innocence coupled with age-old wisdom directed me to particular windlights well suited for the backdrop of a sky made icy-hot as it rises just above Gaia’s cliffs in the frozen region of the magnificent steampunking Auxentios Pass (build by Faust Steamer and sponsored by  [ContraptioN]). This isn’t the first look at “Order” or “Expanding Universe” that I’ve hunted out and it won’t be the last. Elusive as order in the universe may be at times, it seems both have a great deal to say.

(Also shown: “Harpy” body feathers from Trap in Sirens Lore. The wings are not part of “Harpy” and are instead a separate item from LOVE in Cassiopeia.)

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Fairelands Junction

Fantasy Faire 2020 slurls and urls

A Look at Fairelands (details and slurls after the pictures)

She is majestic. Mysterious. Intentional. Of few words, yet overflowing with tales for the ages. Ever changing. Yet ever constant. She is Fairelands Junction by Saiyge Lotus and sponsored by Secrets of Gaia.

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Days Infinity

Fantasy Faire 2020 slurls and urls

A Look from the Fairelands (details and slurls after the pictures)

Fantasy Faire’s official programming ends today, but the magic of the realm carries on until May 10th. So I’ll continue to post but it’ll likely be a bit sporadically as I intend to dive deep into these glorious lands before we bid them adieu on the 10th. Happy Fairelanding, wonderful Fairelanders!

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Fashion Details – RFL items are listed unless otherwise noted (RFL vendor proceeds go to the fight to eradicate cancer). 

Fantasy Faire Shopping Catalogue

  • Skin: Order from Fallen Gods in Zodiac. (A belated note: I’m not sure if “Order” is still available as it might be a limited skin that was offered only during a special jail and bail event.)
  • Opal clusters: Expanding Universe cluster of opals from the Expanding Universe skin from Fallen Gods in Zodiac
  • Wings:  (rare gacha item) Neodeesha from 1313 Mockingbird Lane in Autumnium
  • Sandals: Ella wraps from 1313 Mockingbird Lane in Autumnium
  • Particles: Expanding Universe cluster of opals from the Expanding Universe skin from Fallen Gods in Zodiac
  • Eyes: Lyric from The Little Bat in Autumnium
  • Outfit (not a RFL item): Adalia in pink (and not including the harnass, which is from another brand) from Belle Epoque in Sirens Lore
  • Crown (not a RFL item):  small flower’s crown (white) from NAMINOKE in Auxentios Pass
  • Photo Location: Lunafae build by Sharni Azalee and sponsored by The Looking Glass